Freak Files: You're Looking Old -- You Need to Get Married Soon

Plus a bikini burglar...and a skinny dipper with heat stroke!

June 24, 2016
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A Dad Secretly Buys a Full-Page Newspaper Ad to Find a Wife For His 48-Year-Old Son

So the answer is no . . . there's never a point in your life when your parents stop embarrassing you.

A 48-year-old guy named Baron Brooks in Salt Lake City, Utah was featured in a full-page ad in the "Coeur d'Alene Press" newspaper in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho on Saturday.  And the ad was focused on getting him a WIFE.

Baron has never been married, and the ad is looking for a woman who is, quote, "ready, willing, and able to have children as soon as possible", "attractive, being height and weight proportional", and "politically conservative."

It also mentions that, quote, "I'm 5-foot-5, and if you are 5-foot-8 and like to wear heels, it might not work."

But Baron didn't take out that ad, and he didn't even know it existed.  His 78-year-old FATHER Arthur Brooks took out the ad.  It cost $900.  Apparently he picked a newspaper in Idaho because he thought that'd be a good place to find conservatives.

Baron says he was FURIOUS and, quote, "I can't even describe how embarrassing and ridiculous this is."  But it actually DID drum up some interest from women, so he's letting his dad go ahead with some interviews. 

Click here to see a picture of the ad.

 

The Bikini Burglar

Here's the type of stuff you just don't see in December. 

Cops in Southern California are looking for a woman who broke in and stole a bunch of stuff from two homes near L.A. earlier this month while only wearing a BIKINI.  So of course they're calling her the "Bikini Bandit."

It happened recently when it was over 90 degrees out.  The cops posted a security shot of her staring through a sliding glass door.  She's about 5-foot-5, in her mid-30's, and apparently, she has a really good body. 

Someone saw the picture, and either recognized her face or her rockin' body.  Because the cops say they know who she is.  But she's not in custody yet and they haven't released her name.

Click here for a picture of the Bikini Bandit

 

Skinny Dipper with Heat Stroke

A guy in Panama City Beach, Florida was arrested one day earlier after someone saw him skinny-dipping in the pool outside their condo. 

He claimed he HAD to do it . . . because he was suffering from heat stroke.  But the heat stroke thing didn't make a ton of sense, because the condo was right on the beach.  So he could have just jumped in the ocean, preferably in a bathing suit.

He's facing charges for indecent exposure, trespassing, and disorderly conduct.